Humble Pie

I’ve had the great joy of being around someone that, as of late, has been venting, about EVERYTHING, loudly. My ears are so full of negativity I’ve considered searching Amazon to price out the best ear plugs.

I was discussing (gossiping) with another friend about this resident ranter when she politely hit me with an epic truth, “You know, my grandmother always told me that when something really bothers you about another person, it’s probably because it bothers you about yourself”. Wow! Chew, chew, swallow, swallow. Excuse me while I choke down this piece of humble pie that grandma just served up. Mmmmmm, is that a hint of crow I’m tasting?

Needless to say, my friend’s words of wisdom got me thinking. How many times have I been the one “just venting”? How many times have I used the phrase “I just gotta say”? Oh sorry, excuse me while I take one more bite of that humble pie. No, no, leave the fork. I’m sure I’ll be taking another bite in a moment.

I recall a conversation (argument) with my husband a while back. I had been coming home, day after day, complaining about problems at work. After enduring this for a while he proceeded to tell me, in that fabulously husband way of his, everything I was doing wrong, and how to fix it. Well, like my father in law used to say, that went over like a fat lady doing high jump. I believe the shouting match went something like “I wasn’t asking you to fix it, I just needed to vent!”. Followed by, “Well I’m sick and tired of listening to you complain! Why do you even bring it up if you’re not going to do anything but bitch about it?”. And so on and so forth, more yelling, tears, I’m sorrys, hugging, blah, blah, blah.

But you know what, oh I hate saying this, he was right. How many times can you say that “just venting” has solved your problems? Do you feel any better about the situation when you do nothing but bitch and moan about it? How often am I complaining about an issue without taking the time to look for a solution? And, oh this is the big one, how does my constant grumbling effect the power of my words?

I feel some serious life lessons coming my way here. Oh wait, just a few more bites of that humble pie to go with them. Gulp. Whew, those were tough bites to choke down. Ok, big girl panties are out of the drawer, here we go.

Lesson numero uno. Do not continue to vent, complain, bitch, moan, argue, criticize, bellyache or grumble about a problem if you’re not going to present a solution. No one wants to listen to you bemoan what you perceive (oooo there’s another nugget) as an issue all day long if you’re not actually going to do something about it

Oh, I get it (cue the lightbulb). My problem is my griping about my problems. Yeah, I know, I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes. So, let me give this a try. If I see a problem, and have a solution for that problem, it’s okay to talk about it? Yes, within reason. So I should shout my solution over and over and over again until someone listens? Nope, do that and you’re back to where you started. So once is enough? Dang, this gets harder and harder. Does Amazon sell muzzles?

But what if I don’t have the power or authority to solve the problem? If I don’t loudly voice to everyone in my reach that there is a problem how are they supposed to know there’s a problem? Here’s an easy way to answer that. If I was the boss would I want my employees shouting our issues from the rooftops? Alright, alright, point taken. If it’s not my problem to fix, shut up. I look good in blue, maybe Amazon has that muzzle in a nice blue to match my eyes.

Okay, another bite of humble pie choked down and the first leg is in the big girl panties.  Let me lay the next one on ya.

Lesson numero dos.  If all people hear out of your mouth is whine, whine, whine, they’re going to stop listening. Remember the boy who cried wolf?  He flapped his gums so much that everyone ignored him, even when he finally had something important to say. Can I bedazzle my blue muzzle, just to give it a little pizzaz?

Like most people, I’ve always wanted to be a positive influence wherever I go.  Well, I can’t exactly influence those around me if they’ve already invested in those same ear plugs I was considering earlier.  I could have a great idea, a real problem solver.  But if I’ve griped and yapped about the problem for months before offering up my solution, chances are it’s going to fall on deaf ears.  Get it, ear plugs, deaf ears. No?  Okay, I’ll move on.

Fork at the ready, bite choked down, second leg in, here we go.

Lesson numero tres.  If a solution doesn’t present itself or you do not have the power to change a situation, you need to change your attitude towards it. Anyone else remember your parents telling you that you needed an attitude adjustment?  If you continue to find yourself knee deep in the same muck time and again, maybe you are the problem.  Ouch!  That bite of humble pie was the toughest yet.  I think I cracked a tooth!

Sometimes changing the way you look at a problem makes it much less of a problem.  It’s that whole mole hills mountains thing.  If I would just step back and take deep breath instead of charging in with lips flapping I might have a better chance of seeing the whole big picture.  Who knows?  I might even like the artwork.

Okay, I’ve chewed, choked, gagged, and finally swallowed my humble pie.  Now it’s time to pull those big girl panties all the way up, belly button high, and put these lessons into action.

Oh shoot!  Here I am trying to do it all by myself again. My sure fire, tried and true way of falling on my face.  Before I break my nose let’s pray.

Gracious, merciful Father.  Please guide my thoughts and words.  Help me to shut my mouth when I need to (that bedazzled blue muzzle might help), and speak up with authority when I’m supposed to.  Please help me to maintain the right attitude for every situation (the occasional butt kicking may be necessary here), and take the time to stop and admire your beautiful plan hidden within the chaos I love to create.  Amen.